Birthing, Parenting and Evolving Freely
Birthing freely means the mother has the freedom to labor and deliver the way she desires. For some that may mean an at home birth with minimal interventions, a supernatural spiritual-based birth with lots of praying and confessing or in a hospital surrounded with modern medicine and a supportive medical staff. Freedom in birth may take on many forms, but what is consistent is that the mother does it her way. This consistent thought shouldn't just apply to the labor and delivery experience though, instead it should extend to how one chooses to parent as well.
The choices of how one chooses to raise their family are endless and can change the more one is exposed to through reading, hearing stories from friends and family or lessons learned through their own experiences. For example, one mother may feel strongly about breastfeeding for at least a year and 4 months in may realize it's no longer something they want to be committed to for no other reason than they simply don't want to do it any longer. Can we not still support this mother in her journey and give her the freedom to live the way she wants or does freedom only apply to certain methods of parenting? Or one may start out spanking and decide that it is no longer a form of discipline they want to use. They have the right to change their mind, but it should come without judgement and self-righteousness. My point is that it doesn't really matter that much whether one decides to vaccinate, home-school, skip children altogether and remain dual-income no kids, make only organic baby foods from their garden, work vs staying at home, (i could go on, but you've visited enough parenting Facebook groups to see where I'm going). The world is so intolerant of other people's choices, but for the most part isn't every parent just trying to do the best they can or know how. There's nothing wrong with sharing information or your opinion with others, but if the children are healthy and happy can you give them the freedom to just be and not take it as an affront against your children and your values.
Can we also give each other the freedom to evolve. Evolve as in gradually developing or unfolding. I have a friend I just knew would always have children and be a super engaged mom, but she's currently not sure if she even wants children anymore and isn't really looking that way. Apart of me was sad for selfish reasons because I really wanted to be her doula. When my ego sat itself down, I realized I had put her in a box and we often do it to each other, especially those close to us. I myself was always adamant about my child not sleeping with me because I didn't want to wake up to feet in my face or freezing because they took all the covers. I didn't understand it, but now I don't really care. It's kind of nice actually from time to time, like a sleepover with my favorite little one. I'm glad I gave myself the freedom to do what I wanted to do regardless of the naysayers. So be free in your choices, if and how you decide to give birth and parent and ultimately in how you choose to live. And give others the freedom to do the same. #HuntsvilleDoulas #DoulaSoul #DoulasInHuntsville #HSVDoula #BlackDoulas #DoulasOfColor #FreeBirth #FreeParenting #Evolve #Happy4th #IndependenceDay #4thOfJuly #ChoicesInBirth #BirthYourWay